| 18 October 2011
Video, video, video, it’s all you hear about these days. It’s time efficient and much easier for stupid people who can’t read. Video of the week features me, the handsome soccer novice at US Futblog, showing the USfutty fans everything from spot-on strikes to fat kids trying to dribble, video of the week covers it all…no media is safe.
For those of you who liked Mel Gibson before you found out who he really was will know the quote "Aim small, miss small." If you don't, you should because it's from The Patriot and that's a good movie. Its relevance with video of the week lies in easy targets. Last week David Beckham got in some 100 calorie beef with little known coach Jason Kreis of the even lesser known futbol club, Real Salt Lake. This provided myself, Mr. Good Looking, as no one once called me, with plenty of poo to throw at you monkeys.
This week Thierry Henry, the only other soccer player I know, gets thrown a red card for trampling the guy who took his cookies. Henry argues the call heatedly because he believes the play is not a foul. He rather unathletically turns the ball over then very athletically takes the fastest route to the ball and delivers a knee cap to the challengers head in the process. With all the makings of a retaliatory cheap shot, the ref pulls out a red card with the haste of a 14-year-old with a fake ID at a titty bar. Henry, less than thrilled with the decision gets right up in the refs grill and does soccer's equivalent of Ron Artest for the next 15 minutes. Put it this way, if second base was out there, he would have thrown it into centerfield.
I have many problems with this video. Is it a bad call? No. Henry may not have meant to tap dance all over his opposition's face but this guy took the ball from him, then he stepped on him afterwords. I know Henry whines a bunch but this action absolutely warrants a card. Remember, I would rather make a sandwich than watch soccer, so I don't know what color card it should have been but I know a card was, well, in the cards.
Henry throwing a sissy fit after this really pisses me off. I understand the guy made a questionable call but you can't be that French to not see you did something to be mistaken as malicious. What does arguing do anyway? The booth isn't going to review it, the commentator agreed. Henry instead takes it out on the referee in a fruitless attempt at nothing. This poor shmuck looks like I should see him once a year, when he's doing my taxes and instead he's getting the business from world superstar Thierry Henry. My only qualm with the ref is that his ejection call too closely resembles that of a Hitler Youth salute.
My biggest problem with this video is the manscaping misrepresentation displayed by Thierry Henry. Let's not forget Thierry Henry endorses Gilette with Roger Federer and Tiger Woods, as part of sports' largest stable of pretty boys. If you notice, he's getting lazy with the razor. Derek Jeter, actually drives a Ford and I bet Shatner actually uses Priceline.com This is just lamentable and makes me disappointed in the handsome futboler.
